Dealing with Disappointment

I tend to write happy, interesting, or new things that I've been learning, but somehow, I felt to write about how I've dealt with disappointments. This blog post won't be too long, but I just wanted to process and express how I feel when I get disappointed.

Friends that have walked away from Jesus

The most disappointment I've felt in the past years has been to see friends drift away from their relationship with Jesus. I think this is my ultimate disappointment, it breaks my heart, not because they don't call themselves Christians anymore or act like Christians, but the fact that it involves a decision on earth that affects their eternal lives. Maybe you can disagree with me, not believe in the same things as me, but it's really sad to see loved ones walk away from Jesus, walk away from their life decision of believing in Jesus.

Not growing up with family members

I get disappointed when I can't have a closer relationship with my family members. Most of my aunts, uncles, and cousins live all over the world, and it's hard to maintain relationships. Of course, we have WhatsApp groups, we have each other's social media, but it's hard to have grown up always being away from my relatives and hard to celebrate milestones together. It feels our lives are just flying by and it gets harder and harder to connect. It's so special to have moments with my family. My favorite moment was celebrating my aunt's 70th birthday in Peru and all of my mom's siblings reunited in 2019. It was one of my favorite family trips. I hope we get to do more trips like these very soon!

Things I've desired to do for the longest time

Starting a webcomic series, building my website, taking more courses, learning how to make coffee professionally, traveling in Asia. There are so many plans and things I want to do (noooow!) but they are goals that have been pending for a long time and waiting for the right time to do them. I feel disappointed when these goals haven't been met yet, and sometimes I think I will regret not starting these things. Some stuff I've delayed or procrastinated or I have a million excuses to not do them (the main excuse is "I don't feel like doing it right now").

A romantic relationship

I usually don't share about this part of my life, but it can be a real struggle. Now I'm in my upper 20s, many friends have started their own families, #marriagegoals on social media, happy couples, and I'm waiting for it to come. Being in the mission field can be hard too, as more females are serving in missions, and at my age range, most men are already dating or married (haha!) so, this is something I've struggled with, and at times, I feel hopeless.

How do I process these kinds of disappointments?

Ultimately, I reflect on how much control I want in my own life, my future, and dealing with the fear of missing out. Missing out on common life milestones or maybe having regrets if I don't accomplish certain things in my present life. I go back to God's word, remind myself of His promises, His love, and goodness. It's difficult to deal with my disappointments. At times I feel like my life is not fulfilling, but then I'm reminded of God's grace and the gift of life. The gift of eternal life in Christ. There are moments where I've just cried and felt a heavy heart, but even in the darkest moments, Jesus has been there with me. I'm also thankful for being able to express my thoughts and feelings to a trusted community and mentors around me. The reality is, I'll keep facing disappointments, but in those times, to keep praising and thanking Jesus.

I'm reminded of this verse in Romans 12:11-12 -

"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

I desire to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. To run the race and live my life for Him. Life in abundance and filled with His love and grace.