4 Types of Friendships
I remember in high school, when one of my teachers spoke about friendships at our youth group. It really gave me a whole new perspective on friendships. I remember as a teenager, longing for close friends, those whom you could completely be yourself with. Throughout different seasons of my life, I’ve been able to experience what it means to choose friendships wisely and to be a good friend to others.
Childhood Friends
Friends you grow up with during your childhood, whether you know them from school, church or your neighborhood. I still keep in touch with many of my closest childhood friends and every time I go back to my home country, it’s a joy to catch up and reminisce memories together. With other childhood friends who have moved to other countries, it’s hard to keep in touch but having social media keeps us updated. Graduations, newlyweds, babies, it’s so crazy how time flies and people change, but the memories are still there. You might not be super close to your childhood friends, you might not talk to them at all or at least you Facebook them a “happy birthday” on their day, but there is a special place in your heart for these types of friends.
2. Friends in Different Seasons of Life
If you have moved countries during these past couple of years (like me) or you’ve changed jobs, transferred to a different school, you will definitely have seasonal friends. It’s those types of friends that are there for you for a specific season of time. Whether it’s a season where you are living in a place and you know how long you’ll live there (or maybe you don’t know), be super intentional about building these kinds of friendships. During my first official job after graduating from university, I had really good friends at the studio. We had incredible fun times at the office, so many good memories, and great conversations. I look back, and my life would have been so different without them. Eventually, life changes, and people move, switch jobs and relocate, but these are the types of friends that made an impact during a specific season of your life. You might not call them too often, maybe once a year to see how they are doing, but they were that bridge, a close community during that stage of life.
3. Forever Friends
In your life, you might have one or two of these “forever” friends! Personally, I only have very few friends I can call my forever friends. It’s the kind of friend that has walked with you, through thick and thin. The type of friend to message at any time, even if it’s 2am in the morning. They probably won’t respond immediately (guys, we are all humans, not Siri) but you know they are there for you. Those friends that come over to your house and open the fridge without even telling you. The friends that tell you, “I will help plan your wedding” or “my kids and your kids will be best friends”. With these friends, I can talk about the future, dream, share deep thoughts or just send a quick meme to make them laugh. It’s the friends that pray for you, check up on you, schedule calls with you, because life gets so busy. These friends point us to the truth, no matter how messy or hard it can be. These close friends are so important in our lives.
Some Thoughts…
In this day and age, we really need all these types of friends in our lives. It’s so important to have community around us. Some might think, “I have my phone, my online friends, it’s enough for me” or “I really don’t trust anybody” or even “everyone is my friend!” – it’s essential to wisely seek for true friendships that will walk alongside us no matter what season we are in.
Personally, I remember good memories from my childhood, buying ice cream with my friends, sitting in a circle telling each other jokes we had heard before (that was our way of entertainment!). Teenage years came along and I suddenly felt it all – loneliness, fear, anxiety, thoughts of comparison, “I’m not good enough” kind of thoughts, even to the point that I would visualize my funeral and saw that no one coming. That’s how deep I would get into those lies. There was even a time when I thought my best friends were against me. A victim’s mindset.
Friends did not belong to me, they did not exist to please me. They did not define me either. As I grew deeper in my walk with Jesus, more truth came into my life and I began to see friendships in a whole different way.
A big struggle really is – time. When do we invest time in our friendships? Are we intentional? Are we available? With hectic schedules (dude, even during quarantine, COVID-19, still busy!), priorities, responsibilities, are we still taking time aside to answer a message, spontaneously call a friend, send a photo, schedule a friend date? I’m so thankful for the community God has put around me during this season. Moving into a new city, adapting to life in Asia, it’s not easy at all, fear can constantly fill my thoughts, but as I open up, trust my friends here and those on the other side of the world, I’m so grateful I’m able to express myself, process, have people listen and give wise counsel.
Some Truths about Friendship:
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
- Proverbs 17:17“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
- Proverbs 27:17
